The Unconventional WOMAN

My beliefs?!

Anger is healthy, as long as you don’t let it drive you, to make you bitter, as long as you know how to use it as a binder to change your life for the better.

As me, you may have been taught that it is not good to express your anger. And indeed, if showing your anger meant hitting someone or let’s say, it made you irrational in one way or another, then yes, it is possible that someone said to you “Look, it is not OK to hit” or, worst, “Stop this, you are a bad kid!,” the message you received being that “you are not allowed to be angry”, because no one likes a bad kid, right?!

It was not “fashionable” to seek the explanation behind the behavior or, even more, to provide the child with solutions to channel the anger into another behavior or to manifest it in a way that would help you accept it as part of yourself, as a valid emotion.

Yes, it is also understandable the reaction of those who, ashamed of your behavior, found this quick way to silence you immediately. Why? Because they were also trying to escape the shame thrown at them for their behavior.

No one has stopped to think, at that moment, that what they were actually doing is teaching you to deny an emotion that is not there for no reason, but to help us release frustration, to maintain our mental and overall health.

And we succeeded… most of us managed to deny our anger, to stuff it inthere, somewhere, deep, but … at what cost?

Studies say that repressed emotions weaken immunity and make us vulnerable to chronic, autoimmune diseases that many of us are found to suffer from.

Okay!, you’re gonna say.

And now what do we do? We start hitting the people on the street; we let the child do a tantrum in the middle of the store, without interfering in any way, we start screaming left and right – that, rightly speaking, we would have many opportunities, just in one day – because we don’t want ourselves or our child to get sick?! 😊
No, of course. What I want is to offer another perspective on anger, which is that, on the contrary, anger is a natural emotion that we should let ourselves feel, but that we should try to channel into actions that change our lives for the better, that lift us up, not make us worse. And this, once appied, I’m pretty sure it will also be copied by our children, who, as we already know, learn by example.

Let’s see…
Maybe we are angry at the colleague who received the promotion we were waiting for. What do we do? Do we yell at him, at everyone, at the family? Or we think that:

• 1. We have this energy to consume now… maybe through sports, maybe we can dance, sing, something that calms us down?!;
• 2. With this energy now in our control, we can also channel it into an exercise of finding additional sources of income (why not? Let’s agree not to automatically deny this, can we 😊?;
• 3. We can use it for the cleaning of the living room, an activity  that we have been putting off.

Either way, we would have won, because we did not push it in, we did not deny it, but we would have take it outward, and the result of using it to solve something else will bring us contentment.
That’s a good change, don’t you think?
Are we trying this today?
Tell me how it felt! I can’t wait!

LOVE U