The Unconventional WOMAN

The Cycle of blocked counterwill (part of Neufeld making sense of the counterwill course)

1. When you get stuck, your  partner starts to do pressures;

2. When you feel pressured, you act the brakes;

3. When you get stuck in resistance, your  partner has a tendency to remain stuck in insistence

This 3 parts act “tragedy” was studied with regard to the relationship of child-parent, but I’ve noticed it manifesting in each of our relationships that has an element of powerplay.
And I want us  to stop and  pay attention to this, as we can always choose to do things differently and see the other’s perspective too.

It is such a difficult time for someone to feel stuck!

I’ve noticed I get stuck, anytime someone doesn’t approve my way of doing things and/or seeing things, and it hurts me deeply.

I guess, it’s because of the fact that I’m unconsciously expecting for everyone I care for, to think the way I think, to have the same/similar goals or interests, to know me better.

And this makes me persist in my behaviours and expectations and it also makes them to want to impose their point of vue on me. And they start pressuring me, instead of trying to also take into consideration my point of vue.

This makes me wonder…who gets to have benefits from these kind of behaviors? I surely don’t and I don’t think anyone really does get any benefits in this.

I insist in my resistence, while they persist in their insistence.

All I know is that I want to break this cycle.

Sometimes I manage to do so, sometimes it gets me spinning aroud in circles that upset me, and keep me stuck.

I don’t really have a succes recipe for this, but I’m hoping for us to be able to pay attention to these cycles, and manage to escape them, faster and faster each time, so that we can form the habbit of stopping them, as soon as we recognise we’re entering into one of these cycles.

This time, it got me, but I’m out of there for now!

How about you?

Leave me a comment or go to Fkb or insta (UnconventionalHelen) and comment on this topic!

LOVE U!